I’m hoping to get some realistic perspectives on a topic I see everywhere online, because frankly, I’m not sold on the practical application of it all.
My sons are 1 year old and 12 months old, so I’m a solo mom to two babies who are functionally twins. My life is a constant cycle of feeding, changing, and trying to keep two mobile infants from causing chaos while I also work part-time from home. I keep reading about ‘gentle parenting’ and ‘responsive discipline,’ but the descriptions are often vague and sentimental. I need to know what this looks like on the ground, in real-time, when you’re the only adult in the house.
For those of you who actually use this approach, what do you do, step-by-step, when one baby yanks a toy from the other and makes him cry? What’s the response when one is having a meltdown because he can’t have my laptop cord, while the other is actively trying to pull a lamp over? I’m not interested in platitudes about ‘honoring their feelings.’ I need the literal script and actions. As a single parent, I don’t have the bandwidth for a 15-minute negotiation or a lengthy talk about emotions while the other child requires my immediate attention.
My background is in accounting, so my brain works on a cause-and-effect, evidence-based level. Is there any solid data showing that this method produces more well-adjusted children than setting clear, firm boundaries with immediate, logical consequences? I’m genuinely asking. I’m open to being convinced, but I need more than just theory. I need proof that it’s a workable system for someone in my situation, not just a philosophy that sounds nice on an Instagram infographic.