Just hoping to tap into the community’s wisdom for a moment, as my mind has been doing somersaults lately.
My twin girls, Raffaellina and Freya, are 8 now and are becoming such wonderfully independent little people. It feels like just yesterday I was knee-deep in nappies and navigating the toddler years, and now they’re at school all day, lost in their own worlds of friends and chapter books. It’s truly such a blessing, and I feel so grateful to have been present for it all.
Lately, though, in the quiet of the house, I’ve been feeling this strange mix of peace and a little bit of panic. I’m starting to really grapple with the question of who I am outside of being ‘Mum’. My husband is amazing and has always provided for us, but that old worry about my own financial independence has started to creep back in. I have my Bachelor of Arts, but it’s been nearly a decade since I used it professionally, and I have this fear that it’s completely irrelevant now.
I was just wondering if any other mums who have been at home for a while have navigated this season of life? When did you start thinking about career, study, or even just a project for yourself again? How did you figure out what you wanted to do, and more importantly, how did you find the confidence to take that first step? Any thoughts or shared experiences would be so, so appreciated.
Thanks for sharing this, its interesting to read as we are just starting to plan for our first.
I wonder tho if its really about ‘financial independence’? Hmm, i’m not sure I see it that way. For my husband and I we really see our future roles as a partnership under God, each contributing in the way we are called to. Maybe it’s less about the money and more just about finding a new way to use the gifts He gave you in this new season? Just a thought.
Your BA is definitely not irrelevant!
Praying for you as you navigate this. Let us know how it goes.
This is something I’ve been thinking about a lot lately, even from my very different stage of motherhood.
Thank you for sharing this. My little boy, Remy, is only two months old, so I’m right in the thick of the nappies and night feeds that you’re looking back on! It’s so helpful to read perspectives from further down the road. It already feels like my old life and my marketing job are a world away, and I’ve started to worry about what it will be like to return after my leave.
I was just reading your point about your Bachelor of Arts feeling irrelevant, and I can completely understand why you’d feel that way after a decade. But I also wonder if all the skills you’ve gained as a mum are actually incredibly relevant? I have to imagine that raising twins and managing a household for eight years has sharpened your skills in time management, budgeting, negotiation (I’m guessing!), and multitasking to a level most people in an office couldn’t dream of. Is it possible that those skills, combined with your degree, are actually a really powerful foundation for whatever you choose to do next?
It’s a bit daunting to see that these feelings of balancing ‘Mum’ with ‘Me’ continue as children get older, but it’s also really comforting to know we’re not alone in thinking about it.
Good luck with everything as you explore this next chapter!
Wow, that sounds challenging. That feeling of peace mixed with panic is something I think so many of us experience as our kids get more independent. It’s okay to feel overwhelmed by that quiet space and the big ‘what’s next’ question that comes with it.
From my perspective as a project manager, my advice would be to treat this as your next big project: ‘Rediscovering Me.’ Don’t try to solve it all at once. Break it down into manageable phases.
First, take stock of the skills you’ve gained in the last decade. Managing a household with twins isn’t just ‘being a mum’ – it’s logistics, budget management, negotiation, crisis resolution, and time management at an expert level. Seriously, write those skills down in professional terms. You’d be amazed at how well they translate.
Your BA is absolutely not irrelevant; it’s a foundation. Before you even think about applying for jobs, just do some low-stakes research. Look up jobs related to your degree to see what the current requirements are. Are there new software programs or certifications that keep popping up? You can find tons of free or cheap courses online to learn those specific things. It’s a concrete way to bridge the gap and will do wonders for your confidence.
I’ve been working throughout my kids’ lives, but I definitely felt a shift when they hit that 8-9 age range and didn’t need me for every little thing. It freed up so much mental energy that I could then pour into more demanding projects at work. It’s a natural transition point to reclaim some of that focus for yourself.
The confidence doesn’t have to come first. It builds as you take small, concrete steps. You’ve successfully managed one of the hardest ‘projects’ out there for nearly a decade, you absolutely have what it takes to figure this out.
Hope this new season starts to feel more exciting than scary soon.
Oh, this is such a relatable post. Reading it really struck a chord with me.
My twin daughters, Jenna and Zoe, are also 8, so I am right there with you in witnessing that incredible shift into independence. It’s amazing to watch, isn’t it? My situation is a bit different as I also have our 5-month-old, Preston, so the house isn’t quiet just yet, but I can already feel that future season on the horizon and I completely understand that mix of peace and panic.
I hear you on the worry about a degree feeling irrelevant after time away from the professional world. I have my Master’s in Public Health, and while I’m not using it in a traditional career right now, I’ve tried to reframe it. I wonder if we sometimes discount the immense value and skill we’ve been cultivating all this time? You haven’t just been ‘at home’; you’ve been a project manager, nutritionist, event planner, counselor, and logistics coordinator for two human beings. That’s a more intensive job than most I know!
For me, I’ve channeled my public health background into managing my family’s wellness – from researching nutrition and sourcing organic foods to creating an active lifestyle for us. It feels like a very real, very important application of my skills, and it gives me a sense of purpose beyond the daily tasks. Perhaps you could look at your Bachelor of Arts not as something that has expired, but as a foundation you can build on in a new way that aligns with who you are now. Maybe the first step isn’t a full-blown career, but a small project that lights you up? Volunteering at the girls’ school library, starting a blog about the chapter books you’re all reading, or taking an online course in something that sparks your interest.
Confidence comes from taking those small, manageable steps. You’ve successfully navigated the most demanding years of parenthood; you absolutely have the strength and wisdom for whatever’s next.
All the best.