Just sitting here thinking about the early days and wanted to put this out there, partly for reflection and partly to see if others can relate.
My twin boys are 10 now, and I’m constantly struck by these moments where they show real emotional maturity. It sends me right back to when they were toddlers—a complete whirlwind of duplicate toys, scraped knees, and big, big feelings. My partner and I were so committed to building their emotional literacy from the very beginning. It felt like the most important work we could do. We moved beyond just a simple “sad” or “happy” and tried to give them a whole vocabulary. We were constantly narrating, “I can see you’re frustrated that the block tower fell over,” or “It’s okay to feel angry that your brother took your car, but it is not okay to hit.”
Honestly, it was exhausting at times, and we definitely got some pushback. My own family, with the best of intentions I’m sure, would often comment that we were being too “soft” or that we were overthinking things. There was this undercurrent of belief that we should just be teaching them to toughen up, especially since they were boys. It was a constant challenge to hold our ground and trust that giving them the language for their feelings wasn’t coddling them, but equipping them.
Now, a decade later, I feel so validated in that choice. It wasn’t a magic wand—they’re still 10-year-old boys who have their moments—but they have a foundation. They can articulate when they feel disappointed, or misunderstood, or conflicted. I’m just curious if anyone else really leaned into this from the start? How did you navigate the side-eye from people who didn’t quite get it?